The Cure of Troy

When she was six....My profile photo for the past four years

​“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time”  
- Maya Angelou.  
Angelou’s profound words have saved me a lot of time, grief and drama. I don’t see them as judgmental as much as observational and respectful.
 
Her advice guided my actions in 2016, when Donald Trump was campaigning.  Trump's lies, misogyny, racism, narcissism, blatant disregard for science, education, the environment & our institutions were all on display during his campaign. Therefore, I boycotted his inauguration, and took my six-year old daughter to the Women’s March in downtown Los Angeles on January 21, sign in our hands and pussy hats on our heads.  
 
Never having marched before, I feared violence, and my husband shared that concern, suggesting I leave our kindergartner with him at home. I was firm: “When Lillie Grace is 80, and the Trump presidency is considered one of the worst in our nation’s history, I want her to remember that she publicly opposed it from Day One. If it gets too violent, we’ll come home.” 
 
It was an epic (and peaceful) day, one I will remember for the rest of my life with fondness and pride.
Had I known how magical the experience would be, I would have insisted that Jory come with 4-year old Ali and 6-month old Tyler. But fear and common sense prevailed: Ali was prone to complaining about fatigue after five minutes of walking, and Tyler required a battery of diapers, wipes, bottles, and pacifiers to go anywhere.
 
So it is a powerful memory that Lillie Grace and I share with a few million people around the world. A photo of us in our pussy hats has been my Facebook profile picture as a form of quiet resistance as long as Trump was in the White House.  
 
However, I didn’t attend any of the subsequent marches in the following years, because after its initial euphoria subsided, I was disappointed to discover that our march, the biggest in the history of Los Angeles, a world-wide phenomenon, had changed exactly nothing. 
 
It wasn’t until Wednesday that I realized I’ve been holding my breath for the last four years, wearing a mantle of shame and apology.  I’ve felt helpless.  I stopped reading/watching/listening to the news, only following Dan Rather’s News & Guts updates on Facebook. The news made me too angry, and increased my despondency.
 
On Wednesday, I finally exhaled. I so hungered to hear a leader embrace inclusion, unity, hope and renewal that I took both my girls out of school for the occasion. Biden’s deep compassion is one that emanates from someone familiar with suffering. Like his hero Lincoln, he has buried two of his children, which gave both of these leaders another perspective. Biden pledged to put his very soul in to his work, like great artists do, and this very act inspires, both him and those around him. Like Lincoln, Biden is familiar with failure, and thus has learned to take ego out of the equation. He has much to teach us as we work to rebuild, to end our uncivil war. Like Lincoln, Biden is inheriting a terrible mess. Like Lincoln, he leads by example, and seeks to save the Union.

Problems can be opportunities, after all.  It just depends on the stories we tell ourselves about them.

Biden's brilliant inaugural speech was a call to action, the urgency of which was belied by his calm and modest demeanor. He implored us to “add our own work and our prayers to the unfolding story of our nation”.  
What can that look like for each one of us?  How can we, through our own personal gifts, efforts and grace enhance our country in our time?  
 
Although Biden is humble, let us not miss his call. As we each become our best selves, our country cannot help but reflect that. 
 
Let's sit with his words: “Don’t tell me things can’t change…Let our story tell ages yet to come that we answered the call of history.  We met the moment.”  

What can each of us do, teach our kids to do, to add beauty and grace to this horrible and terrific moment in history...
for our family...our community...our country?

Four years later, a new profile picture. (I'll soon replace it with one with Ali, Ty or Jory - no favoritism!)